August 29, 2019

I don’t want to write, don’t wanna say a word
Because I know I’m full of pride, cowardice, worldliness
All I’d do is infect others with my base corruption
Bringing the opposite of glory to Your Name

You gave me talents, and I misused them
Wasted so many years in selfishness
An agent of Satan, rejecting purity and the divine order of things
Preferring hedonistic pleasures and the approval of all the modern Caesars

I didn’t stop to think how I had thrown You to the wayside,
How I had slowly adopted other gods, false and unworthy of worship
Did my sins add sharp pains to Your Heart, and during the agony of the Cross?
When You thirsted, was it for my broken, fallen soul?

I was so full of anger, mostly towards myself
The loss of childhood innocence and joy, I subconsciously knew,
Was the result of my complicating things into a twisted mess of a life
They were my choices, my responsibility, my own character assassination

I don’t want to lose You, Lord
I would rather lose all else
Take everything from me, Lord
In Your hands is the only safe place
Where there is mercy, goodness, and everlasting Love