November 2019

Sometimes this life’s like a puzzle, a maze I can’t figure out
Lord, what’s happening to my mind?
I keep thinking that it shouldn’t be this way
My faith isn’t even the size of a mustard seed

Spiritual scrupulosity makes me agonize over every step
I fear to take action, as my life becomes a heavy cross
And the judgments I’ve pronounced on others in my heart
Are really reflections of the faults I see within myself

I have to turn to You solely at this time
And remember that I’m a beloved temple of the Holy Spirit
The evil one can assail my thoughts with innumerable distractions
Yet my prayer can remain unbroken, even if I struggle to hear Your voice

I’ve been the recipient of so any graces in the past
I must count those blessings, and praise and thank You in the midst of suffering
While I mourn my losses, I acknowledge that You are an infinite Giver
Who wills that we try our best, because You are ready to meet us with Your best, the fulfillment of all desire

Heavenly Father, You desire that I should knock at Your door
And You desire that I should trust with expectant faith
But like Saint Thérèse, the Little Flower, what I love most is when You lift me in Your arms
And I can whisper in Your ear the prayer that Jesus taught…

Abba, Father, since You are the everlasting God,
I guess that makes us Your everlasting children?
I’m not going to complain that it’s unfair
That I want my inheritance now, and squander it on things it was never intended for

Rather, help me appreciate all that I’ve been given
A family, a home, a name, an identity, a community
The fulfillment of belonging is to dwell in Your house
Because You are a good Father, and I will honor You all the days of my life

You wake me so gently, Lord
My eyes open to praise You for this new day
Touched by Your awesome presence, I don’t fear what lies ahead
Instead, I’m on fire for Your Word, Your mission

I love the way You paint the sky, the leaves in every season
The way You orchestrate every wave in the ocean, every wind, every new child who is born
How You tell me You love me with plants, animals, angels, and saints
In Your astonishing glory, You still take the time to meet me, personally

I’ve neglected You so often
When You are really everywhere
How could I have ignored Your tremendous graces?
Forgive me, Lord, my ingratitude, and inspire my heart to seek You always

In many cases, our best intentions and actions are shrugged off
Unappreciated, we begin to lose heart
Perhaps we are angry or hurt, disappointed or even despairing

That time that you confessed your love in a beautiful note
Or when you donated an arm and a leg to the poor children in Africa
Or when you let your drunken friend crash at your place whenever he needed to

Were these gestures so quickly forgotten?
Did you give a part of yourself that you can never get back?
Why has the loneliness increased and you feel like a nobody?

I’m finding myself quite selfish sometimes…
They say that it’s a love tank gone empty
But I remember someone who passed away to cancer
How the littlest things meant so much to her
And how precious that time was
How I wish I could have done more

Being human can leave us so tragically broken
But Jesus became man so that we can transcend this state of original sin
Through the Heart of Jesus, we can see that everyone’s worth saving, healing, loving

Only God knows if it makes a difference in the end, and He gave us His only begotten Son
Surely, we mustn’t think it was a lost cause
Despite the sufferings of the Cross, we know the victory was, and is, His
And we firmly believe that that makes all the difference