I used to be so carefree
My faith seemed stronger in the fertile soil and stability of my youth
But I’ve learned that true faith must be mature—tested in battle, in fire, in desolation
Will I be able to suffer and die for You?
Sometimes the sacrifice is to hold my tongue—a brutal weapon unleashing hurt that can’t be taken back
But sometimes my words need to speak a difficult but healing truth
And the world’s misunderstanding, or its attachment to sin, will lead to rejection and the way of Your Cross
I wish I could give You better, Lord
For now, I just try to get out of bed, count my blessings, stop making excuses and selfish complaints
For forty days, You fasted and prayed in the desert
Is this a rite of initiation we all need to go through
Rejecting Satan in our hearts, giving our choice of loyalties
Before the work of God can begin?
I don’t want to be wandering in the desert forever, so please help and instruct me, Lord
Prepare me for mission, and to gain final admittance to the heavenly Promised Land