I don’t want to write, don’t wanna say a word
Because I know I’m full of pride, cowardice, worldliness
All I’d do is infect others with my base corruption
Bringing the opposite of glory to Your Name

You gave me talents, and I misused them
Wasted so many years in selfishness
An agent of Satan, rejecting purity and the divine order of things
Preferring hedonistic pleasures and the approval of all the modern Caesars

I didn’t stop to think how I had thrown You to the wayside,
How I had slowly adopted other gods, false and unworthy of worship
Did my sins add sharp pains to Your Heart, and during the agony of the Cross?
When You thirsted, was it for my broken, fallen soul?

I was so full of anger, mostly towards myself
The loss of childhood innocence and joy, I subconsciously knew,
Was the result of my complicating things into a twisted mess of a life
They were my choices, my responsibility, my own character assassination

I don’t want to lose You, Lord
I would rather lose all else
Take everything from me, Lord
In Your hands is the only safe place
Where there is mercy, goodness, and everlasting Love

It shocked me to my core…
I’d never met anyone who wanted to rape me
While making it seem as if they’d be doing me a favor

I didn’t know if humanity was worth saving anymore
If one person could be so like Judas…
Didn’t Jesus say it was better if he had never been born?

This is as close as it’s going to get for me
That hatred of sin, of injustice,
Bordering on hatred for another human being

When someone truly becomes your enemy
By allying themselves with the adversary,
Satan, the father of lies,
Remember, they are still that lost sheep
Whom Jesus wants to save, by dying out of love

I must believe in conversion
Because I know my own weakness and sin
I must believe in second chances
For who am I to limit His ocean of mercy?

If this soul is saved, then I will rejoice with all of heaven
But Lord, don’t let me rest in forgetful, complacent despair
Let me fight with fervent prayer, word, and deed

You know my choice is love
For love of You, in imitation of You,
Embrace the cross and follow You
“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”